Hardcorea


There's a few ramifications from South Korea losing on Friday and missing out on the Round of 16.

We lose their crazy legion of Red Devil fans that spiced up the stands and streets from Seoul to Stuttgart, lazy asses like France move through, and we have to continue to witness the Swiss playing like it's an Olympic slalom. Plus if you live in a major city, you won't get all the discounts and freebies the shops in your local Koreatown have been promising.

And, of course, it'll hit a vital sector of South Korea's bustling, 10th-ranked economy.

Yes, we're talking about Korea's beloved contraception industry.

That up-and-cuming (ahem) future chaebol recently reported a whopping 300% rise (ahem) in sales of condoms in the last two weeks. Since their games kicked off in the middle of the night, being struck with a case of blue-and-red balls (ahem) is a natural side effect to coming down with World Cup fever.