A Joga Bonito No-No

Surely you've seen them. The whole wide world has seen them. 

Even three inmates at Guantanomo have apparently seen 'em.

It's the Nike 'Joga Bonito' campaign featuring Eric Cantona, going around having fun with a video camera and a rather mediocre script from the copywriters at Wieden-Kennedy.

Questionable choice, methinks.

Firstly. Why would the good folks in Beaverton, Oregon commission the use of Cantona as the spokesperson of the World's Game for the mainstream American market? Our feeble, internationally-challenged nation ("Freedom Fries! Get it?") wouldn't be receptive to a French dude's futile attempts at stoic english - especially when that man usually talks incoherently in his own language.

Non-speaking roles, please. Cantona is a veteran of Nike's World Cup ad campaigns. But they worked because King Eric didn't open his mouth. In '94 he was crashing through skyscrapers, and four years ago was on a Mad Max-like rampage. That was more like it...

Looking like a stiff-necked, Camus-on-doughnuts doesn't actually make you Camus-on-doughnuts. Where does this come from? Cantona was never invited to the French pop-culture intelligentsia; he broke in, just like the commercials.

Third. A man with a disciplinary record like Cantona's shouldn't be introducing us to the sublime skills of the ballerinhas and
ballerinhos of Brazil. But then again, he has tried to showcase his own version of on-field acrobatics before...

Said 'doughnuts' quip is partially plucked from the ever-thickening quotebook of Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher discuss the Beautiful Game in a foul language we can all understand.